Sugar High
by RavenStark
Summary: What happens when Itachi goes on a sugar binge? Sweet crack ensues. No yaoi this time, I promise. Rated Kplus  for slight language.  Now with part two!
1. Pocky and Dango!

Itachi loved candy. No, seriously. Whenever he asked for some, everyone else in the Akatsuki got a little worried. If there wasn't any in the base (because he ate it all) he went into a really depressed funk all day until Pein bribed Kakuzu into buying him Pocky or that Western candy he likes so much.

Itachi had been known to go on sugar binges for hours at a time, holed up in his room while blasting J-pop and chomping on as much candy as he could before Tobi stole it all.

Then he'll crash a few minutes later, turning off the music and crawling into bed.

It's what most people would call a sugar high, but everyone wonders if that's how he cuts loose after being so devoid of emotion most of the time.

During one of these random outbursts of emotion, Pein asked Kisame to stay out of their room, because Itachi wasn't himself that day. Kisame just grinned and said, "Nah, I can handle it. So what if he's a little out of character? If I don't get used to it now, I probably never will." With that, he walked out of Leader's office and followed the sound of the thumping stereo back to their room.

As he reached the door, he saw that the light in their room was shut off, and the music had been turned down suddenly. Kisame smirked. _Even with his senses dulled by the sugar, he can still sense me coming. Probably doesn't want to embarrass himself._ He slowly opened the door and stepped inside, only to be tackled to the floor by a very hyper Itachi. "Don't move!" the raven haired boy said somewhat hysterically.

Kisame barely had time to ask his partner just what the hell was going on before Itachi shut the door the rest of the way, leaving only the tiny lights on the stereo to cast odd shadows across the room. At that moment, the song ended, leaving a weird silence in which Kisame tried to peer at Itachi through the darkness. His partner was still sitting on his chest, staring down at him with the Sharingan.

"Um... Itachi? Are you okay?" Kisame said softly, not wanting to startle the currently unstable Uchiha.* Itachi suddenly smirked. "Wait for it... waiiiit... It's going to start again!" His head turned back toward the stereo, watching the time indicator.

Now Kisame was _really_ confused. He hadn't seen the boy act like this in a while, and that was when he... Oh no. Not _that_. Anything but _that_.

The song that Kisame hated with a passion began to play, its computerized sounds assaulting his poor ears. He groaned, unable to cover his ears because Itachi was currently pinning his arms to his sides.

That was another thing about the sugar binges. They gave Itachi random bursts of strength that rivaled Kisame's at times.

And then it got worse.

Itachi started singing along.

_I've been searching for a man, all across Japan,_

_Just to find to find my samurai._

_Someone who is strong, but still a little shy_

_Yes, I need, I need my samurai._

Kisame suddenly rolled to the side, shaking Itachi off of him. As soon as he was upright, he made a beeline for the stereo, practically punching it in his haste to shut it off. He rounded on his young partner.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Itachi? You know I hate that song!" he practically growled at the Uchiha.

The boy only grinned. "Yes. I did it on purpose! Ha ha!"

Kisame only stared at him, wondering how confections could do this to his normally calm partner.

That was when he reached a decision. He sighed and told his partner, "That's it. You're cut off."

Itachi's maniacal smile practically fell to the floor. "Why?" he asked, sounding like a child.

Kisame grinned at the tone of voice, but instantly got serious again. "Because, you haven't been yourself lately. Leader-sama is afraid to send you on missions until you calm down, and Kakuzu's almost in tears about all the money he's being forced to spend on your treats. And, as your partner, I have to make sure you're at your best. And that is definitely _not_ the case right now."

Itachi looked Kisame in the eye, took a deep breath and nodded. "I suppose you're right. And all of this is probably terrible for me anyway. I'll go tell Leader-sama that I've calmed down." he said, turning and walking out of their room and down the hall.

*more unstable than usual, anyway.

This was inspired by my love for candy, and I wondered what a sugared-up Itachi would be like.

Bet you he still goes crazy for Pocky, though XD. Addict.

I do not own Itachi, Kisame, Leader-sama, or Kakuzu. They belong to Kishimoto-sama.

Or Pocky.

Or the song "Butterfly". That belongs to .

Hope you enjoyed my randomness.

Oh, and before you all go crazy saying that Itachi is OOC, well, yeah. He's on a sugar high.


	2. Hawaiian Punch!

Sugar High Part Two: Hawaiian Punch OR Come, Chameleon

It had been several months since Itachi's last relapse. Even if offered dango, he would look away and search for a different treat, like a nice salad.

Yeahhh. Salad. Great...

Itachi hated it. Eating sweets was his way of letting loose, and now he had no way to cope with the cravings. He tended to snap at people (well, his equivalent of snapping anyway) for no apparent reason nowadays. Itachi began to formulate plans to sneak treats away from the kitchen.

It seemed he would finally get the chance, on a day where the base was busily preparing for a larger mission that would require three of the teams; Hidan and Kakuzu, Deidara and Sasori, and Pein and Konan...Which would leave Tobi, Kisame, Itachi and Zetsu at the base by themselves. As soon as the teams left for their mission, Itachi made a beeline for the kitchen.

Seeing where his teammate was going and remembering how he'd been acting slightly tense all day, Kisame knew exactly what was going on. He ran after the Uchiha in an attempt to stop him, but caught up with him as the boy suddenly stopped, staring into the kitchen.

Kisame looked over his shoulder to see Tobi closing the refrigerator, a jug of Hawaiian Punch in his hands. Itachi made a funny noise in his throat, an odd cross between a moan and a soft scream. He started to walk toward the masked man until Kisame grabbed his arm. Itachi jumped, looking over his shoulder at his partner.  
>"No, Itachi. You've been doing good so far, don't spoil it." Concern for his partner flashed through his eyes.<br>Itachi shoved Kisame's hand away. "Exactly. I've been good." He turned back toward Tobi, only to find that he had somehow disappeared, leaving the jug of Hawaiian Punch behind. Itachi walked to one of the cabinets and pulled out a large glass.  
>"Itachi..." Kisame warned.<br>His partner glared at him and swapped the glass for a smaller one. "Fine, but now I get to have two glasses."  
>"Says who?" Kisame was beginning to get more than a little worried.<br>"Me." And with that, he unscrewed the cap and poured the red liquid into the glass.  
>Kisame could only watch as the boy lifted the glass to his lips and drained it in two gulps.<br>He scrutinized Itachi's face carefully as he poured himself another glass, waiting for the bomb to go off.  
><em>It's been at least four months since that episode with the dango and the dance music. I wonder if it'll be better, now that he's waited so long.<em>

Itachi could practically feel the sugar fusing with his blood, causing a pleasant tingling sensation all over his body. He sighed contentedly, setting the glass on the slightly grimy counter top.

"How do you feel, Itachi-san?" Kisame asked tentatively.  
>Itachi closed his eyes, composing an answer, finally deciding on, "Invigorated. If I could be permitted to have small doses of sugar, it might help me wean off of it better."<br>Kisame smiled. "Are you sure it's not too much for you?"  
>Itachi licked his lips. "No." His eyes widened slightly and he walked out of the kitchen.<br>Kisame stared after him, wondering just where he was going when he heard a loud thump and a sudden scream of "KAWAII!" and a yelp that sounded somewhat like Deidara.  
>Kisame ran out of the kitchen in the direction of the ruckus. What he saw scarred him for life.<p>

Itachi sitting on Deidara's stomach, playing with the bomber's long blonde tresses, giggling like a schoolgirl with a manic look on his face.

Sasori looked over the scene at Kisame, shaking his head slightly. "Did you give him sugar?"  
>Kisame frowned. "Well, yeah. He hasn't had any in months. I figured he'd be over it by now. When did you guys get back? I didn't hear you come in."<br>Sasori raised a thin eyebrow. "Just now. Everything was going fine until Itachi-san ran out of the kitchen and tackled the brat."

Itachi broke the silence that followed by yanking hard on Deidara's hair.  
>"OW! Get off, un! That hurts!" Deidara attempted to push Itachi off him, but Itachi still had a hold on his hair. Itachi stared at him for a few seconds and then started tickling Deidara's face with the ends of his own hair.<p>

Just then, Pein and Konan walked into the hallway behind Sasori. Konan stared at the scene in front of her, while Pein looked past the puppet and the two wrestling boys to give Kisame a cold stare.

"I thought I told you not to give him any more sugar, Kisame."

_Crap. _"Um, well, Leader-sama, I-"

"No excuses. You know what it does to him. And yet you gave it to him anyway." Pein glared at him.  
>Kisame gulped nervously.<p>

Deidara somehow managed to get Itachi off of him and then _poofed _out of there. Itachi just stared at the spot where he'd vanished, humming to himself. _Come, chameleon, show me your colors... tell me the secret of love under cover! Heheheh...I love that song, _Itachi thought. The Uchiha boy smiled at nothing in particular.

Konan finally spoke. "Come on, Itachi, we'll find you a nice snack to get the sugar out of your system." She walked around Sasori, took Itachi by the arm and led him to the kitchen.

After Kakuzu and Hidan made their way into the base, Pein called a meeting. Zetsu pulled himself out of the wall long enough to hear what was going on.  
>Pein cleared his throat. "Now that we're all here- wait, where's Tobi?"<br>Everyone looked around and noticed that the masked man was absent.  
>Deidara sighed. "He's probably gotten into the stash. He's been nosing around for sweets more than Uchiha has, un."<br>Hidan stood up. "I'll be right back. That shithead probably ate it all and is halfway to the Land of Snow by now." With that, the silver-haired Jashinist walked out of the room in search of Tobi.

Pein spoke up again. "As I was saying, I have decided to put a new rule in place. And that rule is: Itachi rarely gets sweets. And if he does, everyone must be at the base, seeing as it's nearly impossible to get him under control if there's only a few of us here." He stopped to glance at the Uchiha. Itachi stared back, wanting nothing better to eat all the sweets he can, but he couldn't risk losing his place in the Akatsuki over some stupid confections. So he nodded once, showing that he understood. Konan gave a rare smile and said, "All right. This intervention is over."

Zetsu spoke up for the first time at that meeting. "**Or is it?**"

A/N: All right, I know I said that it was going to be a oneshot, but I changed my mind. Please, Let me know if you liked it, or if you want more! I love flames, so send me those too.

I don't own Naruto or the Akatsuki. If I did there would be lots of yummy yaoi going on.

I don't own Hawaiian Punch, that's property of Dr. Pepper/ 7 Up Inc.

I also don't own Come Chameleon, that's owned by smile(dot)dk (stupid FF won't let me put their actual name!). I love how I've turned our favorite Uchiha into a closet dance music fanatic.

Any way, love to all of you who added the last chapter to their alerts, and faved! You know who you are ^^

Inspiration for this chapter: Come Chameleon, Dam Dadi Do (Nightcore) and Hawaiian Punch!


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